Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
