Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Your penis caused this!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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