I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You left your phone here
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