Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
