It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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