Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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