that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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