Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
