you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
