i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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