Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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