he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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