Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
