your room smells of hookers.
And success
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
