sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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