He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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