ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy