Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.