Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD