whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When are your genitals available?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.