i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
