she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
