those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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