They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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