my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
