His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
