I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
