I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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