i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
ttyl tear gas
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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