I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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