I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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