how can u be prego again
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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