Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
