hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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