Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
