What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
