I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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