Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
