I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
