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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?

  (206): View more from Washington

  Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.

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• (909): View more from California

  Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"

  (951): View more from California

  That's just where I'm at in my life.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Score one for dad.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now

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