Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF

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  (714): im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF http://tfl.nu/bxu6
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  (650): View more from California

  i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug

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  (650): i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug http://tfl.nu/0t6b
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs

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  (610): if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs http://tfl.nu/tehh
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.

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  (850): We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie. http://tfl.nu/ozoq
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!

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  (440): We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days! (1-440): I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!! http://tfl.nu/v3m4
  Replies (80) Good night (1100) Bad night (3877)
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  (716): View more from New York

  We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.

  (907): View more from Alaska

  well done

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  (716): We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter. (907): well done http://tfl.nu/po76
  Replies (34) Good night (8827) Bad night (568)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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  (678): I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather. http://tfl.nu/h2z1
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon

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  (708): we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon http://tfl.nu/1ry8
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.

  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.

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  (251): I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts. (478): Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions. http://tfl.nu/kp4v
  Replies (13) Good night (2789) Bad night (991)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.

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  (614): Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween. http://tfl.nu/cwdu
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  (408): View more from California

  You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.

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  (408): You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it. http://tfl.nu/jmvc
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.

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  (303): The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble. http://tfl.nu/kaq2
  Replies (6) Good night (930) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before

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  (856): Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before http://tfl.nu/gngt
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (479) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots

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  (919): I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots http://tfl.nu/ri9x
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?

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  (208): My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here? http://tfl.nu/5xbh
  Replies (6) Good night (295) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt

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