Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in a vortex of obligation.

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  (717): I am in a vortex of obligation. http://tfl.nu/iw17
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (1723)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died

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  (860): Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died http://tfl.nu/dll1
  Replies (13) Good night (741) Bad night (2824)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.

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  (705): How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk? (1-705): I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month. http://tfl.nu/0dv4
  Replies (14) Good night (3870) Bad night (923)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  If you die in college, do you die in real life?

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  (813): If you die in college, do you die in real life? http://tfl.nu/s9pw
  Replies (42) Good night (9489) Bad night (1219)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.

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  (903): I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink. http://tfl.nu/zmqp
  Replies (13) Good night (4789) Bad night (921)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.

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  (403): They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside. http://tfl.nu/o1u3
  Replies (9) Good night (5573) Bad night (983)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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  (502): He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up. http://tfl.nu/onjv
  Replies (12) Good night (1563) Bad night (4240)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You're just horny.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.

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  (401): You're just horny. (1-401): Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps. http://tfl.nu/yzld
  Replies (6) Good night (2910) Bad night (775)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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  (704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj
  Replies (18) Good night (2409) Bad night (1135)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr

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  (570): I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr http://tfl.nu/s0ny
  Replies (2) Good night (638) Bad night (348)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!

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  (306): the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful! http://tfl.nu/h1ft
  Replies (0) Good night (591) Bad night (296)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...

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  (541): Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings... http://tfl.nu/5e5f
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (673)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan

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  (254): And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan http://tfl.nu/1xmj
  Replies (7) Good night (1054) Bad night (230)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line

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  (518): Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line http://tfl.nu/s8r2
  Replies (2) Good night (282) Bad night (300)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive

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  (208): He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive http://tfl.nu/2kfh
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (112)

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