White coat. Heels.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least