Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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