I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize
