tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
