Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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