bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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