the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm passing your future prison.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
