do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
