dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
