i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
