walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
