Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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