Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
