The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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