When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
