Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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