Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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