Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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