I just cut my nipple shaving
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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